As parents, we have many worries about our kids, especially when it comes to nutrition. In my practice, I hear concerns daily—whether a child is eating enough to meet their nutritional and growth needs, whether something in their diet is making them sick or causing weight gain. While food certainly plays a role in children’s health, growth, and weight, their relationship with food is equally important.
Parents often come to me with concerns about picky eating or feeling pressured by how others perceive their feeding choices. We stress about what our kids eat and how much they eat. We may even find ourselves in battles over certain foods, trying to encourage more or less of them.
Most parents will tell me they want their kids to be healthy and eat well. But with so many factors influencing food choices, how can we ensure this? As a nutrition professional, I teach about what to eat every day, but on this last day of Nutrition Month, I want to share my thoughts on fostering a healthy relationship with food—because this is at the core of what’s needed.
How Do I Help My Child Develop a Healthy Relationship with Food?
How we approach food and feeding our children significantly impacts their lifelong relationship with food. Even from the earliest feedings, our attitudes shape their perceptions. There are three key principles to focus on:
- Make food a positive experience. Food should serve a purpose but also be enjoyable and free of stress.
- Teach kids to listen to their bodies. They should recognize when they are hungry and when they are full.
- Model healthy eating behaviors. Kids learn by example, so how we eat and talk about food influences them greatly.
Let’s explore these principles in more detail.
Make Mealtimes Relaxed and Enjoyable
This should be a priority from the beginning of your child’s feeding journey and continue throughout childhood. Babies pick up on our stress and energy levels, so if we want them to enjoy eating, we need to create a calm, pleasant atmosphere at meals.
Toddlers and older children benefit from this, too. If they look forward to sitting at the table, they’ll be more receptive to trying new foods and enjoying meals. To encourage this, try to lower your stress (or at least appear relaxed) and limit pressure around eating. You can also make mealtimes more engaging by playing soft music, incorporating fun conversations, or having themed dinner nights. These strategies help reinforce that mealtimes are about connection as much as they are about nourishment.
Avoid Labeling Foods as “Good” or “Bad”
We all want our kids to choose “healthy” foods, but labeling foods as strictly “good” or “bad” can lead to confusion, guilt, or shame. Instead, teach them about balance. All foods have a place in a healthy diet because our bodies derive different benefits from different foods.
Rather than saying, “Eat more spinach because it’s good for you,” reframe it as, “Spinach helps keep your muscles strong and your immune system healthy, and it pairs well with pasta, which gives you energy.” By discussing what foods do for the body, children can develop a better understanding of their nutritional value without feeling pressured.
This approach can start before your child can even talk. Describe the colors, textures, and tastes of different foods, as well as their benefits. Even if your child is older, it’s never too late to start having these conversations.
Ditch the Pressure: Let Kids Listen to Their Bodies
Watching kids eat can be stressful because their intake varies. Some days they eat very little, then get hungry at inconvenient times. Other days, they eat more than usual. We may worry about nutrition, growth, or whether they’re eating the right foods. As a result, we may push them to eat more or encourage specific foods.
While it may seem efficient to control their intake, this can backfire. Battles over food—begging them to eat two more bites of broccoli, making separate meals just to get them to eat, or limiting them to a small selection of foods—can create a negative relationship with food.
A more effective, albeit slower, approach is to encourage intuitive eating. Talk to your child about what hunger and fullness feel like. Establish a meal and snack schedule so they can learn to expect food at regular times, aligning their hunger cues with structured eating habits.
Model a Healthy Relationship with Food
Children constantly imitate their environment. Young kids openly mimic their parents, trying on shoes or wearing sunglasses, and even teenagers absorb and replicate behaviors they see.
Eating habits are no exception. If you prioritize sitting down for meals as a family, cooking balanced meals at home, and enjoying a variety of foods, your child will see these behaviors as normal.
This also extends to how we talk about food and our bodies. Negative comments about certain foods or our own bodies can shape how children view their own food choices and self-image. We don’t want children to develop restrictive habits or negative associations with food, as this can lead to disordered eating patterns. Children have different nutritional needs than adults, and unnecessary restrictions can negatively impact their growth and development.
Helping children build a healthy relationship with food starts with how we, as parents, approach eating. By making mealtimes enjoyable, avoiding food labels, encouraging intuitive eating, and modeling healthy behaviors, we create a positive foundation that will benefit them for a lifetime.
Food is more than just fuel—it’s an opportunity for connection, learning, and enjoyment. By fostering a stress-free and balanced approach to eating, we empower our children to develop lifelong healthy habits.